This is a SAMPLE of a 500-page book on Ripping on Christian and calling him an "Italian".

Elisa Martinez: The PDA Girl

Elisa Martinez ruins my life every day using her PDA to contact me. Elisa would accidentally moon the "Star Spangled Banner" after a dog rips off her P.E. Shorts due to her not wearng underwear. Janice Lawson slaps Elisa in the face and becomes Redondo Union's New Culinary Arts Teacher. Courtney Stockin, Chanel Shaw, Charlette Abelar, Adrian Biggs and I are all pleased of our new teacher and her new room rules. Should we be aware that Elisa would rather get her rear sniffed rather than go to New Mexico? Apparently, my "alleged" girlfriend Brett Marie Aspel would punch Elisa in the back and get the rights to Total Drama: The Movie. This pleases Josh Friedrich and Kristin Chenoweth because Brett invited both of them to have an appearance (with Brett) in that movie.

Christian Martinez: My Italian Brother

Whenever he says "ALEX!" in that tone, it makes me think that he's Italian. I would rather write stories about how Kaytelyne would throw a shuriken in Christian's eyeball (a la Good Times With Weapons). I wish that he was never born. The world would slightly change without him:

  1. Boston Market restaurants are more sucessful.
  2. Alexandros would attend Alta Vista (Grades 1-5), Parras (aka Hillcrest Middle School due to its recent name) and RUHS.
  3. Alex would deal with the music he had to listen to due to the pitch of the songs.
  4. The world would stay the same as of June 21, 2000.
  5. Total Drama would never exist.
  6. Alex would never have to freak out on how nudists date always dressed people (with the exception of Kermit and Piggy, to which he never freaks out about).

Austin Lee Bowen: The Conniving Criminal

I always hated Bowen, he always tattles on me for writing stories involving marriages (Alex and Meghann), Pizza (Pizza Hut Commercial), Weapons (Ninjas of Redondo Union) and Kisses (Danielle's Kisses).

Danielle Smith: Love Led Me Here

I would be called up to Mr. John Newman's (or Ms. Amy Golden's) office because of my stories towards Danielle Smith, whether it is getting married, dreaming about her or being dared to include her in stories. Obsessing over her led me into the office more often. The most recent visit (on June 21, 2010) never involved Danielle Smith. It is possible that my obsession over her is ended due to the fact that we are forced into different classes. However, the recent talk that involved "Danielle Smith" was on June 16, 2010, where:

  1. Alex wrote a story about how he talks about marrying her, and
  2. A message was sent to Mrs. Frame about how she would punch an RUHS enemy in the face and become the captain of the Water Polo team, to the point where Miss Piggy and Duncan Avery are pleased about it. (it was a request from Ronnie Cagigal of Redondo Beach, CA)

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