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Fiascos

  1. Elisa Martinez as Bounty Hunter
  2. Kaytelyne Odum as Cowgirl
  3. Alyssa Mohr as Snow White

Story

Elisa's Story

There he is!


Get him!


Kill the bastard!


Who's there?


Hello, Vince. Looks like you've gotten yourself in a spot of trouble.


Elisa?


You've got to help me. That mob is trying to kill me.


- Why would they do such a nasty thing? - I don't know. I'm not such a bad guy.


You're a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot.


I have a few faults. Is that a reason to kill me?


You're foul, Vince...


...a wart on the nose of humanity, and I'm going to blast it off.


Elisa. Elisa. Elisa.


Goodbye, boss man. It's quitting time.


- You can’t mean this. - One, two, three, four...


Why me? I'm just an ordinary guy trying to do his job.


...eight, nine... - Holy shit!


...ten.

Kaytelyne's Story

Hey, hot stuff. Grab your pad and pencil, and get your buns in here.


Yes, ma'am.


Morning.


- Hold it. Hold it right there. - Is something wrong?


No, nothing's wrong. I just wanted to check your bod. Turn around a second.


You got a nice ass, Vince.


You should get your pants out tighter. Bring them up in the crotch.


You got a nice package, might as well show it off.


- Mrs. Odum. - Come here. I want you to take a memo.


To all personnel...


- That's great cologne you're wearing. - Thank you.


That stuff's turning me on. What's that called?


- Stud. - Stud.


It's very sexy. Only I don't like that tie you're wearing.


- What happened to the ones I gave you? - Nothing, l...


- Take it off. Take it off. - Excuse me?


I can’t work with those stripes glaring at me.


How about unbuttoning that coat and your shirt? You need to loosen up.


That's better.


- Where were we? - The memo.


Yeah. By the way, I got a surprise for you here.


- I am a married man. - Forget about your wife, Vince.


You may be hers in the evening, but you're my boy from to .


I wanted to show you what I got for you. Isn't it pretty?


Yes, it's very pretty, but you shouldn't be buying gifts for me.


Okay, let me put it on you here.


- Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? - No.


I love your hair. It's so sexy.


Let's go over on the couch. I'll go look the door.


- Mrs. Odum. - Let's be friendly, Vince.


You need to be a little more cooperative if you want to keep this job.


I'm not that kind of boy!


One little kiss? What's that gonna hurt? Who's gonna know?


No. I won't. I won't kiss that mouth!


Vince, you get back here! I'm warning you. Come back here.


No. I won't.


And he's out of the chute, ladies and gentlemen.


Look at him. That's a big, bold hitter.


There's Kaytelyne Odum. She's gonna try to rope this...


She's already got him down.


Let's see how long it takes to hog-tie this sexist, egotistical, lying bigot.


Just five seconds, ladies and gentlemen.


Alyssa's Story

Alyssa, get me some coffee.


Yes, sir.


Sorry.


Thank you.


- Your coffee, Mr. Martinez. - Yeah. Put it down.


Just the way you like it.


- More coffee, Mr. Martinez? - Coffee?


- I think something was in that coffee. - I think you're right.


- I think it was poisoned. - Right again.


I think you did it.


- But why? Why? - Why do you think?


I'm a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot?


Bingo.

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